The children need our love and attention, so give it to them.
Little children cannot understand the difference between right and wrong actions until they are about two years and above, but we as fathers can help by building a bond with them right from the start. This relationship will make teaching the children good concepts easier. If we can grow a bond with or children by loving them and giving attention they will be more receptive to discipline And teaching of early basic morals like “don’t hit people”, “help pick up the toys”, “share it with others”. The gain of such love, attention and bond is that they grow with a developed sense of conscience, responsibility and respect. They are more reluctant to break our rules when placed alone in tempting situation.
Demand respect from the start by giving it from the start: When children get away with being disrespectful, even as a toddler, they will easily dismiss our moral authority. As fathers we must make the demand for respect strong and clear with love. We must not force it; it must be earned with love. This means we must set rules and don’t cave in when the children balk. You can teach the children respect even before they begin to speak because they see and hear before speaking. So, when your one year plus old baby smacks you, respond by saying NO and show it by moving about their face a finger to show disapproval of their action. For a two year old and above respond by smacking the back of their hand to end you disapproval of such habit. After some minutes bring them close and explain why you did that, say sorry to them and make them say sorry to you too and embrace them in warm hug with re-assuring words like “that’s my angel”, “daddy loves you”, “I’m proud of you champ”.
Emphasize Empathy: In developing our kids’ conscience and building them, we must teach them to put themselves in others’ shoes and we must do so by putting ourselves in the kids’ shoes. We must feel what they feel and teach them o always do same to people. Life is give and take, give a child love and the child becomes loving, give attention and the child becomes attentive.
Let your discipline be purpose driven. There is a purpose for everything, our purpose to discipline as fathers goes beyond shouting, flogging or punishing. The purpose is to correct and instill discipline a godly way to go in becoming responsible adults. In helping our children build their conscience e must set rules backed with consequence and in doing this so early we can adopt the 4-R strategy of:
1.) Respond 2.) Review 3.) Reflect and 4.) Right the wrong
· Respond: When our kids do something wrong as a father instead of reacting and beating calmly respond and encourage the kid to think about the action. You might ask, “Why did you do that?”.
· Review: Help the child to know why the action is wrong, say “it does not portray good manner when you don’t greet people”.
· Reflect: Help the kid reflect on the effect on their actions “how would you feel if daddy should do that to you?” “Can you see how you have broken the plate ad make mummy feel unhappy with you?”.
· Right the wrong: There wrong actions must be corrected immediately if not, no lesson is learn and they cannot be blame for repeating such later on. Tell them “so what do you think you should do now?” “Go over to Susan and tell her you are sorry for your actions”, “Will you go over to our mum now, give her a hug and tell her you’re sorry. It won’t happen again”.
Devote time to your children: Often time fathers hardly make themselves available in the raising up of our children. They are quick to hide under the notion that they are busy fending for the family. But I have come to realize that at times the quality little time spent with the children pays more than the best education money can buy. Spend more time with the children. It affords the opportunity of knowing them better. Make sue you seat together at the diner either for breakfast or dinner where you can have time to point out one or two good behavior. Read them bedtime stories or talk them to sleep teaching or talking about morals and good behavior. You can wash the car together, go to the grocery stores together or lawn the grass, these will teach being responsible and dutiful.
Practice what you preach: Kids are best trained in action than with words. If you want your children to be decent and morally sound you must become their number one role model. As a father you don’t lie to your children. You don’t talk haughtily about family members, friends, colleague or neighbors in the presence of the children. If you do, how do you expect the children to behave differently. You are not just a father you re a leader you knows the way, walks the way and must show the way to the children.
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