Daddies day out with Debo. The facts and Truth about fathering in the millenium era...The fact is, not every father can be said to be responsible. But the truth is , every father can be responsible
THE GOLDEN RULE OF FATHERING A DAUGHTER – Show your daughter what a good husband is.
The golden rule says “Do unto others as you will want them to do you”
As I lay on the couch watching the Beckley premiership game between Manchester United and Manchester City, my fiancé walked in with her hands filled with bags from the grocery shopping she had gone with my niece who equally had a handful of shopping bags. Clearly their outing has been stressful.
The dirty dishes from the day breakfast (which she was not even part of) still piled high in the sink and the dining table littered with books from my writing activities and the question I deemed best to ask was not, ‘how was your outing’?, not ‘how are you or how do you feel’? Instead it was ‘what’s for lunch’? I have not finish asking that when it dawned on my consciousness that I would not for any reason want any man talk to any of my sisters, nieces not to mention my daughter(s) the way I just spoke and treated my fiancé. Even the look on my niece’s face confirmed her disappointment in my rather self-centred question.
As fathers, do you know you can help your daughter(s) develop their expectations for their would-be husbands by how you treat their mothers – your wives today? The fact is you cannot determine or choose who your daughter(s) will marry neither can you guarantee that everything will go well with their marriages. But the truth is if you are controlling, demanding and lazy, you will influence your daughter(s) negatively into believing that is a typical male behaviour. Children are better taught with pictures, never forget your daughter(s) are watching, their brains like a camcorder are running and recording. Your willingness to help out with chores around the house, your love and affection to your wife will give your daughter(s) the picture of what a unique and loving relationship should look like. Your example will guide them in their choice of a male partner to spend their time and life with. You must treat your wives the way you would want your future sons-in-law to treat your daughter(s).
See you @ The TOP
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
HOW TO FATHER A 'LOVE-SANE' CHILDREN IN A 'SEX-CRAZED' WORLD
Daddies Day Out With Debo........The facts and truth about fathering in the millenium era. The fact is every father cannot be said to be responsible but the truth is every father can be responsible.
Calvary greetings to you all my esteem readers, followers, friends and co-fathers. Compliments of the season and welcome to the year 2010. 2010 is a year that has a lot in stock for us all and I want to use this medium to encourage everyone of us that the good Lord who had called us into this fathering ministry is all we need to achieve the desired result concerning our kids, so let us trust in Him like never before and He will never fail us. Before I go into our topic proper I want to use this opportunity to correct an error that has been re-occuring in the write-ups since last year, the slogan is ...."The fact is every father canot be said to be responsible ,but the truth is every father can be responsible" as against "The truth is every father cannot be said to be responsible, but the fact is every father ban be responsible". Please I take responsibility for this error and plead for your indulgence on that, necessary correction have been effected. Don't let me bore you by keeping your reading appetite waiting, enjoy reading and please endeavor to post your comment after reading.
Once again welcome to 2010, a year with a lot in stock for every father. Read on:
It amazes me at times the various newspapers headline and gist that freely fly around on teen pregnancies and pre-marital sex. Teen pregnancies and pre-marital sex have been attributed to so many factors like the influx of western culture, technology, poverty and single parenthood. But too shocking and revealing is the truth when you hear or read stories like – “Pastor’s daughter pregnant” or “Rich man’s daughter dies during abortion” and so many more. We sometimes wonder why these kids get involve if truly they have al they want in life, so we think but our thinking cab be wrong.
The fact is as fathers we might be doing our best to give our children the best, pay their tuition fees, buy them toys, computers, DSTV/DVD, buy them the latest designer’s clothes, take them out on vacations in and out of the country, go on picnic together and spend time with them, watching movies together as a family the truth is WHAT IS THE QUALITY OF OUR TIME & RELATIONSHIP with our child(ren)?.
Fathers please don’t be naive about your kids and sex. Recognize that children are having sex at early age, and that your kids are not immune to sexual temptation. In my recent findings 4 out of every 10 college students have experienced oral sex, 15% have participated in anal sex, and more heterosexual act is on the increase. Sex to the today’s youth is defined “I can do anything, anywhere with anybody”, a very destructive sexual ethic which if not quickly checked will and can be carried into adulthood. Have you tried to learn why these relatively innocent children become sexually promiscuous young adult? We easily blame in on peer pressure, the media, their schools for either teaching or not teaching about sex education, but like the Western African proverb says “The lizard cannot enter into the walls if there are no holes in the walls”. These intruders and strangers we point accusing fingers at usually find their way into our children’ heart through our ignorance, silence and carelessness as fathers on sexual matters. If they don’t receive that first taste of love and self worth from us, they will get it elsewhere at a cost. Why do we have to let our kids struggle for intimacy and acceptance at the expense of their precious body?
Curiosity kills the cat, if you as a father fail to answer your children’s curiosities and questions, someone else will, don’t forget our intruders, the media, peer group, sex educators. Be opened with your child(ren) about sex education; let them learn from your mistakes if any and your convictions now. Encourage an open-end relationship with you, encourage them to ask questions and take time to answer them in the appropriate way. Our kids no matter the standard of their schools or qualification of their teachers can learn better and faster than they can do from the parents, but too bad, according to a survey only 15% of mothers and 8% of fathers ever talked to their children about sexual intercourse.
Let us teach the children the many good reasons to wait. Sexually active teens risk great physical harm to their bodies, millions contract sexually transmitted diseases. 4 out of 9 active teenage girls get pregnant; many have already been opened to abortion. Most of these innocent children have suffered emotional harm and mostly wind up feeling used, cheap and empty. Premarital sex strains present boy/girl relationships and destroys future relationships (lack of trust, haunted comparisons).
What can I do, the world is sex-crazy? my child(ren) are already caught deep in the web? My children are innocent why border them?
Parenting is a battle and the father leads the battle. No great general goes to the battle field without a plan, your battle plan is your fatherly involvement. You are the greatest resource your kids have if they are to grow up to be“love-sane” adults in our today’s “sex-crazed” world.
See you @ the TOP.
The fact is as fathers we might be doing our best to give our children the best, pay their tuition fees, buy them toys, computers, DSTV/DVD, buy them the latest designer’s clothes, take them out on vacations in and out of the country, go on picnic together and spend time with them, watching movies together as a family the truth is WHAT IS THE QUALITY OF OUR TIME & RELATIONSHIP with our child(ren)?.
Fathers please don’t be naive about your kids and sex. Recognize that children are having sex at early age, and that your kids are not immune to sexual temptation. In my recent findings 4 out of every 10 college students have experienced oral sex, 15% have participated in anal sex, and more heterosexual act is on the increase. Sex to the today’s youth is defined “I can do anything, anywhere with anybody”, a very destructive sexual ethic which if not quickly checked will and can be carried into adulthood. Have you tried to learn why these relatively innocent children become sexually promiscuous young adult? We easily blame in on peer pressure, the media, their schools for either teaching or not teaching about sex education, but like the Western African proverb says “The lizard cannot enter into the walls if there are no holes in the walls”. These intruders and strangers we point accusing fingers at usually find their way into our children’ heart through our ignorance, silence and carelessness as fathers on sexual matters. If they don’t receive that first taste of love and self worth from us, they will get it elsewhere at a cost. Why do we have to let our kids struggle for intimacy and acceptance at the expense of their precious body?
Curiosity kills the cat, if you as a father fail to answer your children’s curiosities and questions, someone else will, don’t forget our intruders, the media, peer group, sex educators. Be opened with your child(ren) about sex education; let them learn from your mistakes if any and your convictions now. Encourage an open-end relationship with you, encourage them to ask questions and take time to answer them in the appropriate way. Our kids no matter the standard of their schools or qualification of their teachers can learn better and faster than they can do from the parents, but too bad, according to a survey only 15% of mothers and 8% of fathers ever talked to their children about sexual intercourse.
Let us teach the children the many good reasons to wait. Sexually active teens risk great physical harm to their bodies, millions contract sexually transmitted diseases. 4 out of 9 active teenage girls get pregnant; many have already been opened to abortion. Most of these innocent children have suffered emotional harm and mostly wind up feeling used, cheap and empty. Premarital sex strains present boy/girl relationships and destroys future relationships (lack of trust, haunted comparisons).
What can I do, the world is sex-crazy? my child(ren) are already caught deep in the web? My children are innocent why border them?
Parenting is a battle and the father leads the battle. No great general goes to the battle field without a plan, your battle plan is your fatherly involvement. You are the greatest resource your kids have if they are to grow up to be“love-sane” adults in our today’s “sex-crazed” world.
See you @ the TOP.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)