Daddies Day Out With Debo....The truth and fact fathering in the millenium era.
The truth is, Every father cannot be said to be responsible, but the fact is every father can be responsible
In conclusion of our last discussion ‘Fathering the Kingdom Way’, here are seven step that will help in achieving the desired results.
1. Create/Build more than just a house, create a home: What is the difference between a house and a home? A house is a structured building, it can be of any shape, size, it can be expensive, cheap but without love. A house is characterized by constant fighting, arguments, chaos, unforgiveness and good record keeping of each other’s wrong doings. While a home is also a structured building irrespective of its shape, size or cost the foundation is built on LOVE. In a home you see couples complement each other’s effort, while couple compete in a house to see who is a better person or parent. As a father take time to build a home, the sincere love between you and your wife is enough assurance to the child(ren) that they are valued. With love the most difficult wife or child can be tamed to becoming God’s best.
2. Learn to be in charge: Survey have shown that child(ren) who are raised by loving but authoritative parents, who are supportive and respect their child(ren) opinions, views and decisions yet they maintain a firm limit excel academically, have better social skills, have good self confidence and always outperform child(ren) whose parents are either too soft or excessively harsh. It a natural thing, right from babyhood to adult children will always challenge our right to exercise authority over them but as a wise father, you must learn to take control with love. Praise the child(ren) when it is deserved and rebuke where and when due. When fathers fail to take authority and the child(ren) becomes rebellious we have succeeded in helping the child(ren) reduce their number of years on earth (Ephesians 6 vs. 1-4).
3. Define family rules and enforce them promptly: Why do we take out so much time to write or even contact the best consultant to help us write our organizational vision and mission statement and we never bother any6 for the home? Just as staff members are better guided with vision and mission statement, kids are better guided with clear rules and firm consequences. When there is no structure, children become self-absorbed, selfish and unhappy and they will make any father miserable. Children are small people with their own minds and desires and they have inborn tendency to sin, so this end why not make a written list of your household laws, or riles, that the child(re) must obey. Make the list short but precise, less difficult to enforce and easy to remember. Next to the rules write the consequences for breaking them. Make sure the punishments are reasonable and be willing to enforce them. Make a regular review of the rules so all involved knows what is expected of them. Whenever the rules are broken, enforce the consequences quickly but in a calm, firm and consistent way. Do not procrastinate, do not bargain and do not administer punishment when angry.
4. Establish and maintain family routines: As a father you will not be of good help and to the child(ren) if you don’t teach them how to structure their time and keeping up with schedules. Most fathers are guilty of this as we blame it on our hectic work life, we spend long hours working with little or no tome to spend with our child(ren) on a regular basis. Establish and maintain a regular bedtime for the child(ren), make it an habit to eat at least one or two meals a day together as a family, maintain a family alter time which must be binding on everyone. Over the meal you can discuss the day’s activities, talk about problems and laugh together. No pursuit of material possessions must be allowed to crowd out family routine.
5. Acknowledge your child(ren)’s feeling: Every child wants more than just a father, they want a friend. Someone who does not just orders them around, but cares enough to listen to them, concern about their feelings, appreciates them and allows them liberty to express their thought. Fathers are the most important person in a child’s life but easily this position is lost to strangers in the guises of friends. These children have issues bothering them, they are psychological, emotional, spiritual feeling brooding inside them they constantly need someone to talk to and be understood, nut too bad most of us fathers are either too busy to be available or too much in control to allow the child(ren) speak. Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. And most children have fallen prey simply because a friend or anybody just showed signs of caring which their fathers never gave and they turn totally to such male figure’s counsel and lead. Take out time to listen to the child(ren) talk, respect their feelings and times seek their counsel and opinion on issues bothering you as parents it gives them confident, love and a sense of belonging.
6. Teach by example: Action they say speaks louder than words, while words only impact information, actions teaches. You can imagine a home where the father tell the child(ren) to be respectful and always speak the truth at all times, yet these same fathers yells at their wives at the slightest provocation and openly tell lies to avoid any inconvenient obligations. What lesson do you think have been taught? We all as fathers are striving to be the best but we must also remember only God is perfect. So whenever and wherever we find ourselves fall short of expectations rather than acting perfect or being bossy we must learn to use such times to teach good lessons. Learn to accept responsibilities, learn to be apologetic, learn to uphold your integrity for there is a little eye seating quietly there all it sees is you and all the little mind envision to become is you. Fathers are role models, the question is - Are you worth emulating?
7. Seek God advice: Many people will say “if you are having problems with your child(ren) seek the experts’ advice”. Have you thought about thi9s, do you know how many child psychologists in the world today having problems with their children? Do you know that the greatest preacher Kenneth Hagins grandson was hooked on drugs for years? Then what are we talking about, for you to succeed as a father you must seek God’s counsel. He gave the child(ren) in the first place, they are not yours, you are only the one to take care of them. When you are given a n assignment or a task to perform and you are having problems getting it done what do you do? You get back to whoever gave you the task for further explanation, directive and guide on how to go about it. So why do fathers leave aside God to seek the so-called expert advice on the issues of their child(ren). Remember Proverbs 3 vs. 5.
If we as fathers can patiently, practically & prayerfully adopt and apply these seven principles, we sure will succeed in our task of Fathering the Kingdom Way. See you @ the TOP.
